Perdida...

It has been quiet a while since I sat down and put my thoughts somewhere other than my brain. Alot has happened since my last entry...for starters... I quit my job and ended my time at Bravo. With sadness and excitement at the same time for the new road I was about to embark on. I have to say I love and miss those crazy bravo kids...made every day more interesting. But like all good things...they come to an end...and I had to move on from my College part II in order to grow and prosper. So here I am week i dont know of another great venture.


My brother and I have set out to open a Salon and Spa in the Bronx. Bring something much needed, a little oasis for those overworded, stressed, mothers and fathers etc etc ...who just want a little peace in their life for jus an hour. My days and weeks have become blurs though...i lose track of my days , hours, I wake up early--out the door early and it seems like my days fly by and I get nothing or not enough accomplished. Construction is goin extremely fast...one day there was one wall now they're gettin ready to paint. I couldnt be more excited at the thought of running my own business, making important decisions everyday , feeling like i'm part of something bigger than me...it feels good...walking in that construction site with my binder full of millions of thoughts and TO DO LISTS...seeing the construciton guys a little shocked that I'm the owner..but hey I was born to lead and tell people wat to do, not take orders lol. But even as excited as I am....I'm stuck in a rut I cant seem to get out of...everyday I listen to my bro and how stressed him and the investors are and the million things i need to add to my To Do list and cant help but lose myself in all the papers, calls, vendors, decisions ..d.e.cisions. I'm not sure if its the instability rite now...its hard goin from 9-5, biweekly paycheck, certainty , insurance....to mon-mon work weeks, no paycheck, uncertainty, no security...i know it'll all pay off when i walk into my beautiful spa and start giving what i consider the best a part of me in my every days work. Maybe i'm being dramatic...but I dont know what else could be bothering me...the rest of my life is on hold...i havent seen my girls...i missed our monthly meetings and miss them like crazy...my happy hour crew...MIA...but at least spring is here and it reminds me i should be happy and smile jus to wake up to a beautiful sunny day.



ON another note...Matt 's been home for a while now....he's been chillen in NY for 2 weeks now...Im so grateful that he's so understanding, he doesnt mind driving around attending my million meetings so long as we 're in the same space. He' supports me like no other and its good to have that constant reminder from someone that cares for you that you're doin great and that you will be successful. Yet with all that I feel there's something missing...i know i havent given him enough of me as i have in our past weekend visits ...but maybe its' the crazyness in my world or just the million thoughts runnin through my mind that wont let me focus on one thing...I hope this rut i'm in will end soon...He's given me the best gift for my birthday a lil puppy which we have blessed with the name Canela ...like our spa. So i'm the proud mother of this spoiled 3 month old Lassah. I cant believe how crazy it is to have a pet...i feel like i just gave birth to my first child...sometimes i want to kill her though, when she pisses and shits on the floor..oh man. But she's beautiful and makes me smile everytime i see her. But indeed what a big responsibility.

But anyway...my work is waiting...and as for finding little lost me ...I dont know if i will around this time...everything seems to hectic ...too much...rite now...aaaaaaaaaahhh

"Happiness is knowing that somewhere there is someone who only cares for you, someone who will pick you up when you fall, someone who only knows you, who will hold you when you cry and embrace you when you smile; happiness is when you know that person is just for YOU."

Thanks for seeing me for me and loving every single weirdness of mine. Most of all thanks for lettin me love you and for lettin me wear my heart on my sleeve without the fear of gettin hurt, or thinking if im showing too much , what's really deep inside of me. For the first time I dont have to think that playing hard to get is what love is really about, its really about letting go and being free with each other. I couldn't be more proud of you and your accomplishments...and lookin forward to the rest of this journey...Te adoro mi corazon.