my ATM

Some people love selfishly
As if loving were banking transactions instead of emotional interactions.
Instead of soul mergers, they engage in embezzlement
Estafando corazones, robando de la mano que le da de comer

Love...its not just about initial major deposits...its not a cd u put money into and leave it to gain interest. Because what's love if there's no nurturing, no sharing,


So ...I"m saying! Can we create a merger between your heart and mine, in which the profits will skyrocket like the stockmarket and prevent crashes avoiding "great depressions?"

Mi atmósfera...

Mi atmósfera? Una pequeña fantasia, parte del mundo, del universo amplio y extenso
Mi atmósfera, compuesta por oxígeno, sol de dia, oscuridad de noche, frio... calor
Arboles que empiezan a brotar de vida en la primavera...
Agua que cae del cielo y se une a los lagos, rios, que se convierten en mares
Cuyas aguas rugen y se estrallan contra las paredes de la tierra

Mi atmósfera? Musica. Listas y listas de canciones que penetran mi alma,

Viajan por mis venas como sangre y hacen palpitar mi corazón
Mi atmósfera? Baile. Mi cuerpo se mueve al ritmo del tambor,

como palmeras que se mesen al compaz de la brisa del caribe

Y mi alma en conjunto absorbe líricas de Juan Luis Guerra como una esponja e inspira magia

Mi atmósfera? Una pequeña fantasia, parte del mundo , del universo amplio y extenso

Mi atmósfera? Tu presencia. Como el oxígeno que respiro y libra mi cuerpo de lo malo y lo benigno,

Oxígeno que viaja a traves de tus labios, dulces y refrescantes como sandía en una tarde calurosa de verano

Tus manos, viajan y exploran mi cuerpo como las olas del mar acarician las costas.

Tus ojos... emiten luz radiante como los rayos de sol que calientan la arena en la que caminamos.

Mi atmósfera? Una pequeña fantasia, parte del mundo, del universo amplio y extenso

Tu presencia, a traves de la distancia causa catástrofes en mi atmósfera; terremotos, aguaceros, huracanes

Mi atmósfera, anocheche y amanece con tu presencia

Mi atmósfera? Tú

Resentimiento o Perdón

I'm not sure how the quote goes, but its been said that you waste more energy being mad at someone than actually forgiving. I couldnt find this more true in my life today. Yesterday I saw a friend, that I had not seen in 2 years. Last time we spoke, when we decided to part ways it was not amicably. In fact there was a lot of resentment and negativity, harsh words were said and written. Yet today i can call this person my friend because of the power of forgiveness, as corny as it may sound.

Back when we met we were young, jus starting college, he was hurt by someone he loved. I was ready to conquer his heart, not knowing I would fall faster than I thought. Fell into a vicious cycle of 3.5 years in which pain and tears were more present at times than smiles and happiness. Never had I pictured the first time i fell in love being something that would hurt so much. After we parted ways I became bitter, for lack of a better word a bitch. I learned love hurt... alot. I learned that it didnt matter how many times I thought I had forgiven, I really hadnt bc i continued to hold on to those heartaches. Little by little I moved on. I realized i tried my best in that relationship and tha's wat mattered. I put my all into it, even if in the end I came out , with a broken heart and tears that would flow for days to come.

Litte by little we came into contact again, our online encoutners goin from angry and resentful, pointing fingers at who did what and why, till coming to an agreement to leave it alone bc it was all in the past, especially if we were both happy in our present lives. A couple of months ago, chatting and laughing about past memories, talking about our present life, accomplishments , love etc. The little boy I met back when I was 18, came forth and did what i thought would never happen. He apologized ...not simply saying sorry, But admitting everything he realized he had done wrong. It takes courage, it takes most of all alot MATURITY. And jus' like that we had CLOSURE.

So looking back at everything that happened, yes I can sit here and drive myself crazy thinking about How and Why he did the things he did, or worst of all kick myself in the ass time and time again for bein so naive. But would that bring me happiness, would that take away the tears, the anger, the sadness, the lost days...hours...minutes...seconds. Simply NO.

See...

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." Cherie Carter-Scott

Yes i have reasons to be mad, but why waste all that time and energy on something negative. When instinctivly I jus want to smile and say "hey wats up ? how's everything? " When we hold on to negativity for too long, we cause our own downfall and create holes in our soul.

We both experienced love, happiness, sadness...but we both learned from each other and most of all we both GREW UP. Now we can look back on the good times, laugh about the silly memories. So seeing him after 2 years was pleasant...that big smile like when we met. No resenments...no anger...just sincere smiles and concern for each other's well-being,f amilies and present lives. What better way to bring closure to a negative past...then with smiles and a bucket of Hershey's chocolate. Thanks for that Tezzie ;0) I'll be eating chocolates for days to come..lol.

"Love is Love" ~JC

My Knight in Shining Armor...

Someone said to me sarcastically and with negativity "and your knight in shining armor came and picked up the pieces" (but I aint mad at ya' )... You 're not wrong, if anything congrats on being so on point. Indeed he picked up the pieces ...all of me...whole me...not necessarily needing him, to know all of me again, but helping the pieces of me see the whole beauty of me.. So yes I admit....my knight in shining armor came to save me.

That's why waiting two months to see him again, is like a blink of an eye, once i see him. He makes it all worth while and fills me in a way I cant' express...

I sat on a bench at the airport, warm breeze blowing on my face, blowing my hair side to side

Watching the cars stop, pick up passengers and drive away

I tried to concentrate on my book, "El amor el los tiempos del colera"

But although the book is at a very interesting point, I couldnt seem to concentrate

See there was a struggle within me, although my surroundings were calm and peaceful,

Inside me there was chaos, rumbling, little explosions, otherwise known as 2 months of waiting, pent up anxiety and excitement

After 2 months of waiting, 20 more minutes in great weather was nothing

I got back into my book and without looking up I knew he had finally arrived..

I heard the distinct sound of his black Accord , the Audioslave playing inside his car.

I looked up and there he was, dressed in his Black Johny Cash Naval uniform with his white cap (cover) tipped low

Getting out of his car with a serious look on his face...streched out his arms and flashed me that smile,

Jus like that our bodies came together and i melted in his arms

From that moment on I felt like I was in a movie...I couldnt stop kissing him and biting him to make sure it was really happening...

So a weekend full of dining out, meeting his fellow class mates, crazy people with strong souther accents, enjoying a day at the beach...and simply enjoying each other....

We didnt need words...jus looks and smiles...and hugs....Layin next to each other enjoying each other's presence...

I couldnt have asked for a better weekend to spend with my knight in shining armor....that will make the next 3 weeks a breeze...

Bubu..u done got me :)

simplicidad...

After a day of frustration and anger at not being able to express myself at work...
It's good to know that the simplest things in life make me happy..

Stepping out the train and realizing, I made it uptown half hour earlier than I usually do..
Walking down the block and realizing, it's 6 pm and the sun is still out,
Just that brings a smile to my face, because sunlight gives me life,
I live for spring and summer and those long afternoons that seem never ending, reminding me of childhood days when sundown at 8pm meant extending our playtime into infinity.
Seeing my baby Hunter parked, waiting for me to drive him home,
Hearing Audioslave's "Like a Stone" reminding me of that Ohio Adventure and end-of-summer fling turned into a 6 month "Nautical Adventure",
Walking into my house and hearing my moms warm voice say "y tu tan temprano en casa? "
If only everything in life was this simple...