Resentimiento o Perdón

I'm not sure how the quote goes, but its been said that you waste more energy being mad at someone than actually forgiving. I couldnt find this more true in my life today. Yesterday I saw a friend, that I had not seen in 2 years. Last time we spoke, when we decided to part ways it was not amicably. In fact there was a lot of resentment and negativity, harsh words were said and written. Yet today i can call this person my friend because of the power of forgiveness, as corny as it may sound.

Back when we met we were young, jus starting college, he was hurt by someone he loved. I was ready to conquer his heart, not knowing I would fall faster than I thought. Fell into a vicious cycle of 3.5 years in which pain and tears were more present at times than smiles and happiness. Never had I pictured the first time i fell in love being something that would hurt so much. After we parted ways I became bitter, for lack of a better word a bitch. I learned love hurt... alot. I learned that it didnt matter how many times I thought I had forgiven, I really hadnt bc i continued to hold on to those heartaches. Little by little I moved on. I realized i tried my best in that relationship and tha's wat mattered. I put my all into it, even if in the end I came out , with a broken heart and tears that would flow for days to come.

Litte by little we came into contact again, our online encoutners goin from angry and resentful, pointing fingers at who did what and why, till coming to an agreement to leave it alone bc it was all in the past, especially if we were both happy in our present lives. A couple of months ago, chatting and laughing about past memories, talking about our present life, accomplishments , love etc. The little boy I met back when I was 18, came forth and did what i thought would never happen. He apologized ...not simply saying sorry, But admitting everything he realized he had done wrong. It takes courage, it takes most of all alot MATURITY. And jus' like that we had CLOSURE.

So looking back at everything that happened, yes I can sit here and drive myself crazy thinking about How and Why he did the things he did, or worst of all kick myself in the ass time and time again for bein so naive. But would that bring me happiness, would that take away the tears, the anger, the sadness, the lost days...hours...minutes...seconds. Simply NO.

See...

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." Cherie Carter-Scott

Yes i have reasons to be mad, but why waste all that time and energy on something negative. When instinctivly I jus want to smile and say "hey wats up ? how's everything? " When we hold on to negativity for too long, we cause our own downfall and create holes in our soul.

We both experienced love, happiness, sadness...but we both learned from each other and most of all we both GREW UP. Now we can look back on the good times, laugh about the silly memories. So seeing him after 2 years was pleasant...that big smile like when we met. No resenments...no anger...just sincere smiles and concern for each other's well-being,f amilies and present lives. What better way to bring closure to a negative past...then with smiles and a bucket of Hershey's chocolate. Thanks for that Tezzie ;0) I'll be eating chocolates for days to come..lol.

"Love is Love" ~JC