Dominicana Soy...

Monday, but not just any monday...I walk into work at 8:45 am and of course no one is here...walking down my row of cubes i hear a Juan Luis Guerra playin in somebodys computer in the next row..but there's no one here. The song tha's playing

"Buscando visa para un sueño

Buscando visa, la necesidad.

Buscando visa, que rabia me da,

golpe de poder buscando visa, que mas puedo hacer, buscando visa para no volver"

How appropriate..today is Dominican Independence Day, how nostalgic, although I ve lived in this country for 16 years now, my heart and soul remain back home, bc like they say home is where the heart is, and my heart has never left my beautiful patria. Then again I dont think we ever really leave our homes, there is always the hope that we will return someday, at least thas' what we hope. I remember the first day my brother and I came to this country winter of '89 or '90, it felt like a day like this, sooo cold. We hadnt seen our parents in who knows how long, but finally together in this "famous" Nueva Yol, the land of dreams. The song reminds me of my childhood, everyone i knew struggling to come to this country in hopes of a better life. They'd go through the struggle and the long process, and once they were gone you wouldnt see them again. Till this day some have yet to go back. Gettin a visa was a big deal, yet something not so easy to obtain. So difficult people did anything in order to come, whether traveling through Mexico and crossing the border or using fake names, etc. Wasnt any different for my brother and I. My parents wanted to reunite the family and most of all give us things they could not give us while living back home in DR. After all this is "el Sueño Americano". As kids we didnt understand this, I mean I was upset that we had to stay in a tiny apt all day when back home we could run free around our town with no fear of anythign happening, just making sure to be back at Mama's house to eat. Nueva yol was another world, layering up for the freezing weather, realizing life was not as laid back as it was back home. But you adapt, but when we finally could go back home bc we obtained legal status (lol, i have to laugh at the crazy things we went through) we never wanted to leave. its where we grew up , where we felt comfortable, where the played and held on to our childhood innocence for alittle longer.

Now 16 years later I still miss my country, and remember my childhood days playin in the campo like it was yesterday. And inside me , still lies some hope that I return. But will I ever return for good? doubt it...Will my parents ever return for good? maybe. But, like I said we hope, but reality is most of dont return bc we're still in the struggle. My parents still dont have enough to show for all their years here. Even though my father says that he'll return even if he has to live off of jus eating platanos. As for my brothers and I, we've accomplished most of our and my parents goals, went to good schools, off to college, 2 of us obtained our college degrees , and youngest still working on it. So did we achieve " el sueño americano" ? To an extent i guess we did, my father is a business owner, my brother is a successful young man at 25 has achieved greatness, and has so much more to conquer. Me , have a good job still working and what my heart really wants to do for the rest of my life. The little one letttin his creativity flow in school. So i guess we achieved some of it, but at wat cost? Leaving our beautiful country and families behind...when we made that decision took the leap, we didnt realize we were giving up a part of us...our patria. Dont get me wrong I am thankful to this country for giving us great opportunites, but a big piece of me still wishes my parents hadnt brought me here, and still wonder what my life would be like if i would of stayed home (shoulda, woulda, coulda..) Either way my heart will always remain in DR.. as for me goin back home, i try to make it once a year...someday who knows..i might go back for good...there's one thing i do know , if and when i have kids , i will send them back home so they can experience and learn a little bit of my beautiful childhood and the small campo i grew up with in the little ole house i still call home :)

So a mi compatriotas...Feliz Dominican INdependence Day...may you never forget where u came from, remember and always keep alive that hope of returning and the memories of that beautiful island full of life, flavor and great people ...

"No hay tierra tan hermosa como la mia,

bañada por los mares de blanca espuma

parece una gaviota de blancas plumas

Dormido en las orillas, del ancho mar.

Quisqueya la tierra de mis amores,de suave brisa,

de lindas floresdel fondo de los mares la perla

querida quisqueya divina

En mis cantares linda quisqueya,

yo te comparo con una estrella,la estrella solidaria que alumbra mi vidame brinda su luuuuuuuuuuuuuz."